Advice Isn't Your Specialty, Is It?

Ever notice when people don't have anything helpful to say or you're in a situation where you're basically screwed, these favorite cliches pop-up in conversation?

Here are few that offer no real insight, but are constantly used:

Life is short----> No, actually life is pretty long. Death is short (and to the point), unlike life which drags on for 70 or 80 years and in the end it still doesn't make sense.

Everything happens for a reason----> Thanks, I kinda figured that out when "everything" happened. Unless you know what the reason is you've been 0% helpful. It's like showing me the bus stop, but not telling me what time the bus is coming, pointless.

It was in the last place I looked-----> Generally when you've found the lost item, my first guess is that it was in the last place you looked.

You learn something new everyday-----> No, you learn something old everyday. It's only new to you because you're on the slow bus.

Out of the blue-----> Let's review 5th grade English; remember context clues? Just because you didn't notice them...doesn't mean they weren't there, nothing was sudden about this.

To be honest-----> Good to know that unless this phrase is used, you're normally lying.

You want to have your cake and eat it too-----> Um yes. I would like to eat my cake, hence my reason for having it. If you are implying that I'm greedy, then maybe you should say I want cake AND ice cream.

It is what it is-----> I gathered that, but how do I make "it" not "what it is"? Advice means you suggest solutions, not just point out the obvious.

It ain't over till it's over-----> Really now? So does that mean it isn't a final conclusion?

You'll thank me later-----> I like advance planning, so can you give me a time and date of when later is?

Thanks for trying, but sometimes the best help is not helping at all.

:::SIDEBAR::: It's pretty obvious that I'm a pretty sarcastic person. These phrases are on this list just for fun. I understand the reason people use them, but that still doesn't make them helpful.